Fall In The Neighborhood

I feel so much good energy surrounding me. The day has started so good and thank God it’s an awesome one. I was worried the trees here in my area won’t turn but it felt like it happened suddenly. A couple trees in the grocery store’s parking lot were red and then suddenly everything is so colorful.

Every time I look out from the window, I just feel blessed and feel happy. I feel great actually. It’s so beautiful in a way I am not sure how to express. It just feels beautiful and vibrant. These awesome and wonderful trees, wow!

I went for a walk and I look at every tree here every time I leave the house. I look at the same trees over and over again and I’m loving it.

I don’t know also what to do, how to enjoy the season even more. I’m just happy! Thank God

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Couple Mechanics – Book Review

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I was astounded by the beauty of the library; it’s right by the river, my favorite river and very favorite spot in the whole city, The Delaware river.

I had replaced a hold on a book earlier that day and went to pick it up at Bristol Library. They told the book was being shipped from another branch of the library and it’ll take two days to get there.

Amazed by the view, stunned ny the endless shelves and a desire inside me to read more book, I picked up that book, Couple Mechanics. The title, the cover all spoke to me, made me feel somehow that I need such a book in my life now that I have a partner and stories might really help me have a healthier relationship with my partner.

There are many factors that combined all together make us fall in love. That’s how I fell for this book. I have been so lost lately, lots and lots of things going on on my mind, so mentally disturbed and preoccupied. I needed an escape, a vent. This book offered was all that to me. More importantly, it was a story I loved dearly.

In such an emotional rush, Olivier decides to call his lovely wife, the mother of his two lovely kids, that he’s been cheating on her for the last three weeks. Caught off guard, Juliette is staggered. She decides to fight all the way, until the end.

How is trust to won after it’s been lost the first time? is it even possible to trust the same man who decided to sleep with another woman yet so concerned about her feelings, not even able to think of the idea of causing her any emotional harm? How do you make sure that man is not lying to you anymore? How can you really tell for real he wants you back? wants his kids and wife and whatever remains of his marriage?

Juliette herself has been raped. She had her fair share of fears and bad experiences in the past. How is that going to affect her decisions?

I love Juliette’s continuous fight to win her husband back, to rescue him from falling into a strange woman who might have given him something he needed at a specific point in his life, but not on the long run. I love the countless and endless conversation between the couple  about their love, their family and the life they share together. There was so much going on each one’s mind. They tried so hard to survive this ordeal. Juliette does not want to put up with whatever her husband throws on her; she’s strong, she’s capable of fighting, so she does.

There were many scenes of compassion and empathy. There were determination, perseverance and triumph. There were also hatred, contempt and fear. All together, made an eventful story of so many ups and downs, highs and lows.

I was so excited to read how Juliette is going to react to V’s calls and desperate emails, yet felt so disgusted by Olivier’s impatience and weakness. I could feel Juliette, by the end of a long summer full of restless, sleepless nights how tired she was. Nonetheless, V still shows up, refusing to let go of Olivier, the man who once said he loved her. But as Juliette says, “you can’t just tell someone you love them they stop loving them the next day”.

Today, I could not throw the book away. I had more than half of it to read. It was captivating. The story keeps building up; page after page, you are buried down, living life day to day with the characters, angry for them, worried about them. When matching it to real life, it can happen in every relationship, very smoothly when nobody’s paying attention. If you were them, you’d be as puzzled as they are, because you love, you care and you’re capable of hate and revenge.

Eventually, it’s now time for Juliette to experience what Oliver had felt with V. Will she survive it?!

Personally, this book gave me the metal escape that I needed, it made me forget about my feelings and daily events. I was totally consumed in the book and what a feeling.

 

The view from the library.
The view from the library.

Self-confidence

I don’t know why but I can’t be myself when trying to communicate with people out here. I look like a foreigner and when I speak people notice my foreign scent but that does not make me an outcast. I admit there are cultural behaviors and limits I need to learn and get used to but that shouldn’t stop me from mingling with the community here and become just a more comfortable person around people here.

I’m all this messy, timid, fragile person who’s trying to survive in a new country and enjoy himself. I feel like I walk differently from people here> I feel like people would realize from my walk that i’m not comfortable or from my clothes, or accent or haircut or whatever there is obvious about me. I am getting used to be different, a bit by bit. I do not mean to complain. Being different yet self-confident can be a special blend for a future success. The matter that you’re a foreigner can be so helpful where you have more things to exchange with people around you and you actually have a big opportunity to grow up and learn more about yourself.

Today, I was so happy to be able to run to the store real quick, get some groceries and come back home. I was glad to be able to talk to the cashier, understand what she said and just control my movement around her and not be confused or timid as usual.

However, still sometimes I’m confused when I can’t express clearly what I’m thinking or have in mind. Also, when my partner comments on my foreign accent sometimes; that embarrasses me though I believe I’m doing a great job, it’s just a matter of self-confidence. I need to work more on that.